President Obama’s My Brother’s Keeper Program has to Focus on Family Values

By Rachel Miller-Bradshaw

theobamacrat.com

 “If we help these young men become better husbands and fathers they will not only become better citizens but pass this on to their children,” said President Obama during his speech yesterday about the newly enacted My Brother’s Keeper program.  This program will concentrate on young men of color, an extremely disenfranchised group in the United States.  Black and Hispanic men’s likelihood to commit crime, drop out of school, and abandon their families is largely attributed to growing up in fatherless homes as well as other oppressive factors.

In President Obama’s speech he referenced his own life growing up.  He spoke about being angry and abusing drugs to numb some of the pain he felt from not having his father present in his life.  Watching the president, an African American man, a member of this same group represent young men of color, really drives this message home.  It now creates an empathy factor among the non-black community that was obviously missing.  What President Obama’s status also represents is the possibility that with governmental intervention and parental responsibility, the majority of young men of color can have bright futures in a society that has clearly oppressed them.

In the documentary ON MY OWN, a young man, who is a member of the Ocean Baptist Church Youth Fellowship talked emotionally about his deep thought about what his life could have been if his father was around.  This displays that the My Brother’s Keeper program must continue to promote fatherhood aggressively.  Young men of color futures depend on it. This program should focus as much on family values as it will on education and jobs.  The program should also focus on educating young men of color on the history of the Black Family in the United States.  It will give them a better understanding of how many of their forefathers were negatively socialized in regards to their position in the nuclear family in the western world.  Maybe they’ll understand and abandon some of the anger they feel everyday wondering why in their community having a father is a rare experience.

The My Brother’s Keeper program should use the 200 million funding on more of a grassroots level.  This effort needs a street level approach to reach young men that are not in the educational system.   There are many young men that have already fallen through the cracks and can’t be enumerated. President Obama also rightfully stated, “that government cannot play the only role or even the primary role.”  The community must also step in and uplift these at risk youths.  This program is another great step in the movement to repair the family structure.

Co-Parenting: The Best Solution for Single Mothers

By Rachel Miller-Bradshaw




www.brandnewz.com

 

Marriages dissolve and relationships end.  Though the goal and message should always promote life- long partnerships, the reality is sometimes relationships don’t last. When there are children involved mothers and fathers must find a productive and respectful strategy to continue raising their children.  In most cases, children continue living with their mothers whether by consensual agreement from the parents or court ordered.  To ensure that children of these circumstances are raised morally, economically, and psychologically sound, their fathers must remain in their lives.

During the Bronx Fathers Taking Action Forum, in New York City, featured in the documentary ON MY OWN, Bronx Borough President Ruben Diaz Jr. posed a question.  He asked “why do fathers feel like they can’t be in a child’s life if they are no longer married or in a relationship with the child’s mother?”  He then ended by saying, “a father should be in a child’s life whether or not he’s in a marriage with the child’s mother.”  This has to be the mindset of fathers and mothers.

Most of society agrees that mothers should raise their children alongside the fathers. Research included in the 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative highlighted that 69% of Americans believe more single women having children without a male partner is bad for society.  The overwhelming opinion most likely derives from the drastically higher percentage of children raised in single parent,  mostly female-headed homes, compared to two-parent homes, likelihood to commit crimes and drop out of school.   Not to mention single mothers are more likely to fall into poverty.

Conservative think tanks like the Heritage Foundation provide a one solution cure all for single mothers which is marriage.   This solution doesn’t address if the parents are divorcing or ended relationships that never resulted in marriage.  Though marriage is a great solution for single mothers, co parenting with their children’s father(s) is a more realistic approach.  A great approach is for single mothers, at all times, to encourage their children’s father to be active in their lives.

In order to accomplish healthy co-parenting single mothers and fathers must continue to maintain respect and open communication with each other.  Issues that plagued the marriage/relationship shouldn’t prevent parents from jointly raising the child.   The objective must always be what’s best for the children.  Once that is established, the intrinsic details about visitation, child support, education, and faith based dynamics can take place successfully.   The end result is for children to have all the necessities and even luxuries at times, to grow up loved, complete, and well taken care of.  This will result in significant decreases in single motherhood.

The Importance of Teaching our Children about Black History

By Rachel Miller-Bradshaw

thisisyourconscience.com

James' Brown's song “I'm Black and I'm Proud”, released in 1968, became an anthem for black people during the Black Power Movement. As we usher in a new generation of young people, this same song should be a belief and innate feeling entrenched into African American children.

It has already been socially proven that individuals excel when they treasure and are proud of their culture and history.  African Americans have been deprived of learning about their history through the public educational system.  For the most part mainstream media has disseminated denigrating images about African Americans that has furthered false and insulting imagery of the group.  In all of this denigration, significant portions of African American & African history, has been lost.  And with this has been decades of lost self-esteem and pride that hasn’t been passed on our descendants.

In a country that is continually expanding with various ethnic groups it is pertinent for black parents to teach their children about their rich history. Many of our kids are lacking in the Black History department.  They learn the talking points about Dr. Martin Luther King JR. and Rosa Parks but few know about Paul Robeson or Stokely Carmichael. It's time for parents to step up and teach their children the fundamentals about who they are. It's imperative in providing them their purpose in the world.  It is all about parents doing the work-the educational resources are there.

"A people's relationship to their heritage is the same as the relationship of a child to its mother." -Dr. John Henrik Clarke

There are multiple reasons why black parents should be proactive with educating their children about their history but here are the top 5 reasons.

1. Black children will develop long lasting self-esteem derived from knowing they come from great ancestors.

2. African American children will know their importance among various racial and ethnic groups.

3. Teaching extensive Black History will equip our children to believe they can be innovators and investors.

4. Colorism could be totally eliminated from exposing black children to a various black figures of all complexions.

5. Black children can fend off historical inaccuracies.

 



Where is the Analysis on the Black Family during

Black History Month?

By Rachel Miller-Bradshaw



Center for Disease Control



As we remember and closely analyze the plight and progress of African Americans during Black History Month we should take a closer look at the current condition of the black family.  The American black family, from its slavery inception to present day, is volatile and disturbing. Our community cannot expect any significant change if we do not address, on a grassroots level, the issues of the black family.   The ideology that “a weak family structure makes a weak community” still empirically proves to be very true.

The Black Family in the United States was born into an oppressive slave regime. Marriages weren’t honored and could be broken up with a snap of a finger if one of the partners were sold to another plantation owner.  The interesting ply is the fact that black families were more intact post slavery, including during the Reconstruction Era, up until the 1960s.  In the 1960s American politician and sociologist Daniel Patrick Moynihan addressed the alarming increase in fatherless homes in a report titled “The Negro Family: A Case for Action”.  E Franklin Frazier’s classic work The Negro Family in the United States, that involved tracking familial movements of black families throughout the United States, also proved how complex stabilizing the black family would be because of class, region, and socioeconomic status.

To date, the Black Family in the United States has experienced several social setbacks including the outsourcing of factory jobs held by low skilled black male workers, a welfare system that banned black fathers from being in the home, and the crack/cocaine epidemic that flooded American inner cities.  Now in the 21st century, 8 out of 10 black babies in 2008 were born out of wedlock according to the U.S. Census Bureau.  The honest truth is that the Black Family in the U.S. has become matriarchal in structure. It’s gotten so bad that it is just accepted as the norm-a dangerous reality to not reverse. The children of fatherless homes that turn to crime at higher rates, drop out of school in higher numbers, and for the males, have a higher family abandonment rate, displays that repairing the Black Family should be the new civil rights movement for the Black community.

Promising initiatives have already begun including fatherhood movements, marriage programs and governments legislations all dedicated to this movement.  More of these initiatives need to be instituted by community activists.  Healthy family promotion should be promoted more by parents to instill in the younger generation the importance of both a mother and father in the home.  Constituents should also employ their local representatives to hold continuous forums to listen to the needs of families in their constituency-whether it be unemployment, mental health crisis and marital tensions.   It will also be the duty of our local elected officials to institute parenting classes to assist parents in teaching their children core family values.  Fathers, at a crossroads in their fatherly duties, should be embraced, supported and strengthened in order to rejoin their family.

As a community we have to also request that our hip-hop brothers and sisters promote the importance of stable homes in their music.  At the root of this conversation should always be the message that wealth usually comes from partnership and this is the way to build up our communities.   Our married elders must also lend a hand in advising and mentoring. 

There must be a continued effort to repair this communal issue.  It’s imperative to our future.  It’s productive during Black History Month to honor our civil rights leaders, inventors, and artists but we must also review real pending issues in our community and execute how to solve them.  So for future Black History Months we can look back at where the Black Family used to be and pride ourselves on how stabilized it’s become.

How Single Motherhood Affects the Children

By Rachel Miller-Bradshaw

Video interview with Cynthia Grace PHD

Conversations about the black family in the United States usually focus on the roles of single mothers and absent fathers; at times, completely ignoring the direct product of these relationships- the children. But as we move forward in our conversation, more attention should be directed to the children. No need to go into a long statistical explanation, but it is necessary to mention that according to the 2008 U.S. Census, 8 out of 10 black babies were born out of wedlock. Now that this statistic is out the way, the greater question the community should be asking is, “What are the reasons children who are products of single parenthood are more likely to have lower self-esteem, commit suicide, become criminals and drop out of high school?”  Taking these effects into consideration, black men and black women must be mindful of how children are affected when the parents are not in stable, healthy marriages.

This is not a condemnation of single motherhood rather a closer analysis on the familial structure and how it innately affects children. Some single mothers might argue that they provide all of their children's needs, even overcompensating-which is counterproductive most times, because these children can develop entitlement issues and lack of responsibility.  It is clinically proven that fathers provide protection and shape our identities.  Two very important factors missing in the majority of black children's lives growing up right now in the United States.

To understand the effects a child growing up in single parenthood experiences, one has to analyze it from the psychological standpoint.  What are these children thinking about their familial situations and their self-worth.  Children develop their first feelings of belonging and worth from their parents from whom they are a direct extension.  When part of that extension is missing a feeling of void and abandonment develops which is clinically proven as the cause of behavioral and psychological issues. Think about it this way- how many more men would know discipline, respect and right from wrong if their father was present to teach and show them.  Little girls get their self-worth from their fathers whom they use as a role model for the type of mate to choose.  But in the cases of single mother homes, these children are lacking the important essentials that assist in socializing them. Children need to see their fathers at their sports tournaments and plays.  They need to see that daddy loves them and supports them in this brutal world.

"I feel so bad. I'd rather have a dead father than a father that's living who has nothing to do with me", is one of the most gripping statements Cynthia Grace, P.H.D, participant in the documentary ON MY OWN, remembers that one of her patients said to her.  Dr. Grace also talks about feelings of abandonment, anger and hurt felt by many children living in single parent homes.

The conversation needs to shift from one of condemnation of parents to the advocacy of raising healthy, comforted children. The bottom line is this, as our community continues to date, there should be more serious conversations placed on family values, more thought placed on responsibility, and more emotion put into dating and engaging in sexual relations.  Black males and females intimate interaction is bigger than sexual gratification.  Children, in many instances, are produced from these interactions.   Relationships must be in tact because children need both parents. Our children's psychological well-being is desperately important to the Black community.

De Blasio’s “Reversing the Two New Yorks” should focus on  urban families

By Rachel Miller-Bradshaw




politicker



During newly-elected Mayor +Bill de Blasio January 17, 2014 speech on the proposed changes to the paid sick leave policy he stated that, "1 out of 4 families in New York City shelters have at least one working parent."  While campaigning last fall he referenced Charles Dickens' 1959 novel,  A Tale of Two Cities, saying New York City is the quintessential example of extreme economic disparity. Currently, New York City consists of two types of residents, the haves and have-nots.  For de Blasio to accomplish his goals for the city, he will have to make rebuilding the family structure, especially those in urban communities, a top priority. Families need a lot of support and assistance in New York City. Economic security is a mere dream to many New Yorkers.   While this new sick leave policy will help, there is a long way to go in stabilizing urban families.

According to Citydata.com, a family of four in New York City would need to earn between $91, 465 and $211, 645 for a moderate living. One can comfortably speculate that the average bureaucrat or private sector worker isn’t even making half of these numbers aforementioned.   Families are slipping further into debt and poverty, losing the fight to maintain a decent lifestyle.  The city also has one of the highest costs of living in the country, in the world for that matter, making it difficult for working parents, in a stagnant wage city, to live comfortably and escape poverty.

Under these circumstances, some families have left New York altogether seeking more affordable living in other states.  This city is in jeopardy of fully dismantling the family structures in urban communities, which will result in an even more devastating downward spiral for the communities these families reside in.  Adding to the city’s familial dilemma is the single parenthood factor. Thirty six percent of single parents live in New York City according to the +Annie E. Casey Foundation , many falling below the poverty level. It is a tough task that the mayor needs to embark on but he really has no choice. 

A +New York Times article recently highlighted that 31% percent of children 17 and younger have fell below the poverty line, indicating that poor and working class parents, especially in these urban areas, are having a very difficult time making ends meet. Job training programs should solely target the working poor and unemployed to provide them skills to rise into the working class.   De-blasio will also have to continue to fight for public assistance programs: food stamp, WIC, and Medicaid, increase funding for qualifying working parents and simplify the requirements to qualify for such programs. Continuing on with former Mayor Bloomberg’s Young Mens Initiative, to prevent young boys from premature fatherhood or help in preparing them for pending fatherhood is also productive. Childcare, another major factor and complaint for working parents, must seriously and urgently be addressed.  Working on more quality government child care facilities and providing more subsidies for working parents making under $120,000 combined will financially relieve a lot of the burden and gives these parents extra finances to save or be spent elsewhere.   De Blasio can also support lobbyist who advocate for increasing the minimum wage.  It is more pertinent in costly cities like New York City for families to live comfortably. 

New York City’s working parents living in lower socioeconomic areas shouldn’t have to fear how they are going to house, feed, clothe and properly educate their children.  This is an injustice to responsible parents who work hard and honestly to provide for their children.  Why should working parents constantly struggle to keep their heads above water while more affluent parents can effortlessly provide their children with the best housing, education and culture that the city has to offer? For this city to truly be on its path of living equality targeting families and their well being is the best way to go.  Having a family, for most human beings is inevitable, even in New York City.   This great city has succeeded because of individuals that have started families here, invested in communities and helped to uplift New York to its great worldly status.

Partnership is a necessity for the Black Community

By Rachel Miller-Bradshaw

 

mylovesdones.net

The Dwayne Wade-Gabrielle Union scandal involving Wade fathering a child outside his committed relationship with Union has sparked interesting conversations among African American women.  In the comment sections of many blogs, several black women have expressed their disgust at Wade's, and all black men's infidelity, as well as their conscious decision to live permanently along.  Some have proudly stated that they are in their late 30s and early 40s and have never been married or had children.  They mark this as success along with career and financial accomplishments, boasting that they have accomplished their heart's desire.

The blog comments observed made by these black women specifically in regards to professing these accomplishments, true or not, don’t coincide with the study released by the Insight Center for Community Economic Development.  The study found that single women of color, between the ages of 36 to 49, have a net worth of $5.  It also showed that Black and Hispanic women are drastically worse off than white women who have higher marriage rates.

Ironically, studies show that black men benefit highly from marriage.  

Discussing why marriage is important to black existence includes the message that relationships should be based on a loving and healthy premise.  Dating black men and black women must understand that relationships aren’t just based on instant feeling and 100% happiness but is also based on love- that will sometime during the marriage require sacrifice, struggle and forgiveness-a lesson maybe Gabrielle Union understands. That is just the reality of being in long-term relationships that all races and ethnic groups experience.  There are highs and lows.  

Black relationships in many instances are complex and strained stemming from an unstable premise during slavery, which has continued without being fully being addressed. There could be a subconscious disdain between the genders. Supporting this are the recent studies that have shown that black men and black women wait the longest to get married.  A detrimental move that prevents or severely extends wealth building, acquired faster, when two people are working together.    

Communities strive on healthy families that bring culture, diversity and a source of income to build, maintain and progress the neighborhood.  Western society spreads individualism ideology- “what’s mine is mine”. However, socially, the individualistic approach could never work for African Americans who endure disenfranchisement causing higher poverty rates. Most ethnic groups and Caucasians themselves understand that progress can only be made when working as a group.  Our communities, plagued with single mothers, display from the higher crime rates, decaying infrastructure and poverty that “I can do it by myself” mentality is a falsehood that black people just can’t afford to adopt.  

You could read through the words the anger, unhappiness and disappointment of these commenters, specifically the women, masked in boasting individualism and singledom. These women and men must realize that life is volatile and a partner is needed to assist in buffering the harsh realities of it.  

The black community must aggressively encourage and push the marriage agenda, the familial aspect of solidarity.  From there, our communities, personal wealth, and social positioning will accelerate.