Why Communities Must Encourage Black Fathers to Commit to Marriage
By Rachel Miller-Bradshaw
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| The Good Men Project |
As the country
gears up to commemorate fatherhood, this representation will mostly be in a
traditional family fashion. Though we are living in a society that acknowledges
various family structures, it is still conservative in promoting marriage. The
commercials that will be airing will present men not only as fathers but
husbands also. For the black community honoring its fathers, we should also
praise black husbands that have committed legally, and for many, religiously,
to the mothers.
In my household
I was privileged to experience the importance of marriage through my parents.
When I was 11 years old, my parents divorced and my sisters and I never had the
same close relationship with my father. Though proximity played a major role in
our distance, I believe my father’s commitment to us changed because his commitment
to our mother was gone. It’s simple to say fathers should be committed to their
children despite the relationship with the mother, but in reality many fathers
don’t handle it that way.
According to the
National Fatherhood Initiative, married fathers are more likely than unmarried
fathers to parent their children. In my feature documentary On My Own, the
mothers expressed their belief that the fathers would be parenting their
children if they were married to them. It is notable that marriage still offers
higher probability of stability than dating and cohabitation.
The community
must band together in our advice and message to encourage our young men to be
husbands. Marriage makes fatherhood easier when both the mother and father are
parenting in the same house. Black fathers gain from the wealth building that
the institution of marriage ensures. This is imperative if we desire to
decrease the fatherlessness epidemic.
The greatest
commitment black fathers can make to their children is showing their commitment
to their wives. It is a beautiful display that lets children know that they are
an extension of the union. Moving forward, we have to set the tone that this
national appreciation day is just as much about marriage as it is about
committed fatherhood. In the Black community this is an effective strategy that
will help raise young black boys into great men and fathers.
